Relationsh@.
The weekly blog about our podcast, Relationsh!t.
Relationsh!t Podcast co-host, Tony Critelli, writes about the week’s topic and gives us all some much-needed insight and perspective as it relates to relationship goals and efforts.
Pet Names Sh!t
This week, we talked about pet names and whether you use them or find them revolting. We are going to do something different with this week’s blog…
This week, we talked about pet names and whether you use them or find them revolting. We are going to do something different with this week’s blog…
Leave your best and worst pet names in the comments below! Most creative and most egregious wins a prize!
It’s Just Money Sh!t
This week, we talked about a fun little concept: 1-1-1-1. It means taking a one-week vacation without anyone else, including kids (if you have them); having one date night per week without distractions; once a week, each partner initiates sexual intimacy; and one block of 30 minutes without screen time every night. Seems simple enough, right?
This week, we revisited an oldie but a goodie: the concept of money, budgeting, and resource allocation overall. You know, the #1 reason that people get divorced. No reason to go back to this, right?
It is interesting how much we progress and evolve over time, isn’t it? Marko and I are both in very, very tangible and noticeably different places with this issue. I have loosened my choke-like grip on the pursestrings while Marko has dialed back his spending considerably. We are both working towards a middle ground, where we save and plan for the future but enjoy and live in the present. I can honestly say that I never thought I would spend money as much as I have these past few years but it has been fun and well worth it! We have traveled, we have had amazing dinners and seen incredible shows, and yet we have managed to still save for our retirement. I can honestly say that I am truly at peace with where we are at now: a real balance of ‘now’ and ‘soon to be.’
What about you, listeners? Have you changed your relationship with money? Are you working on enjoying today while planning for retirement? We would love to hear from you! Comment below, please :)
Sleeping with Friends Sh!t
This week, we talked about a fun little concept: 1-1-1-1. It means taking a one-week vacation without anyone else, including kids (if you have them); having one date night per week without distractions; once a week, each partner initiates sexual intimacy; and one block of 30 minutes without screen time every night. Seems simple enough, right?
This week, we talked about the very queer experience of sleeping with your friends. It’s such a hot topic for our queer community. Have you ever slept with a friend? What do you think of the concept? We are dying to hear from you, dear listeners!
Marko has never engaged in this type of behavior. No real surprise there ;) I, Tony, may have had a dalliance or two. Who knows ;) But what about you, loyal fans? Do you think that it is okay to engage in sexual congress with someone you laugh with on a Thursday night? Can you copulate with a co-worker? Is this type of activity allowed? We’d love to hear from you, friends of the podcast. What are the socially acceptable ‘does’ and don’t’ of penis in pals? Write below and let us know!
1-1-1-1 Rule Sh!t
This week, we talked about a fun little concept: 1-1-1-1. It means taking a one-week vacation without anyone else, including kids (if you have them); having one date night per week without distractions; once a week, each partner initiates sexual intimacy; and one block of 30 minutes without screen time every night. Seems simple enough, right?
This week, we talked about a fun little concept: 1-1-1-1. It means taking a one-week vacation without anyone else, including kids (if you have them); having one date night per week without distractions; once a week, each partner initiates sexual intimacy; and one block of 30 minutes without screen time every night. Seems simple enough, right?
Marko and I are going to commit to trying this for the entirety of next month. We would love it If you could join us and do the same in your relationship. We will report back on how things went, our thoughts, feelings, and how it affected us. It would be great if you could respond to this post, write, or leave us a voice message and let us know how it was for you as well! As always, we would really like to hear from you :)
Sh!tuationships
This week, we talked about ‘situationships,’ which is a relatively new term for me. I totally get the concept and I’m 100% on board with the fact that they happen. As you may have heard on the episode, though, I’m a bit conflicted as to whether they are a normal part of relationship development or are a new phenomenon.
This week, we talked about ‘situationships,’ which is a relatively new term for me. I totally get the concept and I’m 100% on board with the fact that they happen. As you may have heard on the episode, though, I’m a bit conflicted as to whether they are a normal part of relationship development or are a new phenomenon.
What do you think, listeners? I’d love to hear from as many of you across a multitude of generations so that we can figure out whether this is something novel or is just a new package for an old product. Is it normal for young people to couple up without putting a bunch of words to what they are doing? Does this dating status mark a new evolution in how we relate to each other? I’m curious to hear what you think and feel about this. Please write to us!
Love is Blind Sh!t
This week, we talked about whether love is actually blind or if we can, in fact, go into a new relationship with our eyes wide open. Welcome back to a new season, dear listeners. What do you think? Are we wearing rose-colored glasses or are we beyond being newborns?
This week, we talked about whether love is actually blind or if we can, in fact, go into a new relationship with our eyes wide open. Welcome back to a new season, dear listeners. What do you think? Are we wearing rose-colored glasses or are we beyond being newborns?
We discussed the idea and the reality. Are we walking into new situations with the same baggage or are we bringing wisdom with us? Did you come into a new situation with a new approach? Are we all starting over each time? Did the Critellis get anywhere this week? ;) Let us know what you think!
Goal-Setting Sh!t
This week, we talked about effective ways to set goals as individuals and couples. I found the articles to be of particularly good quality so if you haven’t had a change to give them a read, do yourself a favor and follow the links in the show notes. While there is a lot of information out there on the topic, my husband did a really good job finding ones that are accessible and concrete!
This week, we talked about effective ways to set goals as individuals and couples. I found the articles to be of particularly good quality so if you haven’t had a change to give them a read, do yourself a favor and follow the links in the show notes. While there is a lot of information out there on the topic, my husband did a really good job finding ones that are accessible and concrete!
How do you do with setting and achieving goals, overall? Are you steadfast and always moving forward, with your eyes on the next step as you complete the current one, like Marko? Or are you like me and so many others: do you set a goal for the new year, start out strong, and then lose your momentum and fall back into old habits? We would love to hear from you on this, dear listeners. Feel free to comment below!
Body Hair Sh!t
This week, we talked about preferences related to body hair. What do you prefer: a smooth, soft surface or a rugged, hairy man? Marko and I discussed the matter at length. It’s no surprise that he likes manly men or that I enjoy “a clean working space.” We’ve always had our preferences and they haven’t really changed over time. What about you, dear listeners? Have you always wanted what you like or have your preferences changed over time?
This week, we talked about preferences related to body hair. What do you prefer: a smooth, soft surface or a rugged, hairy man? Marko and I discussed the matter at length. It’s no surprise that he likes manly men or that I enjoy “a clean working space.” We’ve always had our preferences and they haven’t really changed over time. What about you, dear listeners? Have you always wanted what you like or have your preferences changed over time?
For me, I’ve always been more interested in the androgyny aspect of things. I prefer to have those arbitrary lines blurred, to see feminine men or masculine women. I don’t know what that’s about. Maybe I just like to bend the rules and challenge norms. Perhaps it is something deeper. “The world may never know,” as the advertisement from my youth intimates. We would love to hear your varied, disparate responses on this divisive topic. You know that we love a good argument here ;)
Competitive Sh!t
This week, we talked about being competitive within your own relationship. Do you and your partner compete against each other? Do you revel when your husband fails? Does your girlfriend secretly smile when she does better than you? Are there any such unhealthy dynamics at work in your relationship? If so, stay tuned because we explore the topic thoroughly!
This week, we talked about being competitive within your own relationship. Do you and your partner compete against each other? Do you revel when your husband fails? Does your girlfriend secretly smile when she does better than you? Are there any such unhealthy dynamics at work in your relationship? If so, stay tuned because we explore the topic thoroughly!
Then, on Patreon, we talk about tips to help you address these issues. Marko and I also do a bit of an inventory of what applies to us and what we’ve been fortunate enough to avoid. We’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic and any techniques that you have found to be effective. We had an amazing time talking this week and it shows! Laugh with us and give it a listen. We hope you enjoy ;)
Talk Dirty Sh!t
When I started putting this episode together I found it difficult to find articles that truly mirrored or challenged my thoughts on continue to surprise your long-term partner, and I didn’t feel like any of them gave me tools to use for my own relationship. At the end of three different articles I didn’t feel like I wanted to implement any of the ideas or exercises laid out by any of the authors. So why not write my own article? It can’t be that hard … can it?
This week, we talked about dirty talk. Or discussed talking dirty. OK, we talked dirty. To you, our listeners. Ha ha ha we hope that you enjoyed it ;) Please let us know how we did and what we can do to make you happier ;)
Seriously though, what do you think about talking dirty to your partner? How do you feel about that partner talking dirty to you? What are your ‘splooshes’ and which are your ‘ickes’? To each their own, right? Marko and I have had many years to figure out what works for us. Did you disagree strongly with any of our stances?
7-Year Itch Sh!t
When I started putting this episode together I found it difficult to find articles that truly mirrored or challenged my thoughts on continue to surprise your long-term partner, and I didn’t feel like any of them gave me tools to use for my own relationship. At the end of three different articles I didn’t feel like I wanted to implement any of the ideas or exercises laid out by any of the authors. So why not write my own article? It can’t be that hard … can it?
This week, we talked about that oft-cited (but empirically questionable) concept of the seven-year itch. Do you believe that this is actually a thing? There is much debate around the subject. For me, being an empirical person, I have so many questions. When does the clock counter start: when you begin dating, when you move in together, or when you are married? Is there a difference between heterosexual and homosexual couples? Does it matter if you dated for years before being married? What if you were married, divorced, and the married again? Does the ‘itch’ return?
Marko and I discussed this phenomenon and (on Patreon) ways that you can combat it. What did you think of the conversation? Is this topic worth exploring? Do your experiences lead you to believe that it is true or false? Are there techniques that we failed to mention? So many questions, so little time ;) We’d love to hear from you! Write, call, comment here, or voice memo us your thoughts on this topic. Let the discussion continue!
Am I Sexy Still Sh!t
When I started putting this episode together I found it difficult to find articles that truly mirrored or challenged my thoughts on continue to surprise your long-term partner, and I didn’t feel like any of them gave me tools to use for my own relationship. At the end of three different articles I didn’t feel like I wanted to implement any of the ideas or exercises laid out by any of the authors. So why not write my own article? It can’t be that hard … can it?
This week, we talked about whether you still find your partner sexy, even after a long time. We also talked about how to bring your sexy back if it is lost ;) If you have been in a long-term relationship, do you still find your partner sexy? Do you think they still find you sexy? It was a great discussion filled with timely, important stuff! If you need to spice things up, be sure to give it a listen.
What did you think about the topic this week? Did we cover everything that was worth discussing? Were there some other ways to stay sexy, even after things start to droop or wrinkle or…well, you know how it goes. We would love to hear from you. Write in or reply to this posting.
Continue to Surprise Sh!t
When I started putting this episode together I found it difficult to find articles that truly mirrored or challenged my thoughts on continue to surprise your long-term partner, and I didn’t feel like any of them gave me tools to use for my own relationship. At the end of three different articles I didn’t feel like I wanted to implement any of the ideas or exercises laid out by any of the authors. So why not write my own article? It can’t be that hard … can it?
It’s Marko! Subbing in for Tony on this week’s Relationsh@ blog post.
When I started putting this episode together, it was difficult to find articles that truly mirrored or challenged my thoughts on continuing to surprise a long-term partner, and I didn’t feel like any of them gave me tools to use for my own relationship. At the end of three different articles, I didn’t feel like I wanted to implement any of the ideas or exercises laid out by the authors. So why not write my own article? It can’t be that hard … can it?
So, below are the nine surprises you can do with your partner to help make your long-term relationship feel new and fresh. Try them out and let us know if you yield anything worth talking about in an upcoming episode.
If you want to surprise your partner:
Continue to date one another …
Remember those butterflies when asking your partner out on a date? The optimism you felt while getting ready for the date? Bring that energy back to your relationship!
Pick an activity or an outing where you two date each other all over again. Take the date outside of the home and into the world and learn to fall in love all over again - bring that new relationship energy back to the surface. You’ll be surprised at how much you’re willing to throw back into the relationship when you revisit your old feelings about one another.
Continue to talk (small and large conversations) …
A simple “Good morning” text … a long conversation about life goals - never underestimate the power of actually talking to your partner. If you’ve been in a relationship long enough, you and your partner’s life views should shift and grow as you both shift and grow, and the only way you’ll get to know who your partner is (now) is if you talk to them. Do yourself a favor and make sure you’re not getting to know them for the first time after ten years together. You’ll be surprised how much they and your relationship can change if you’re not talking to one another with any kind of depth.
Take time apart …
A night out with friends, or a solo trip to visit family … these are great ways to press reset on the relationship energy and give you both the opportunity to miss one another. You’ll be surprised how eager you’ll be to get back to one another.
Touch …
… or hump! But make sure your bodies interact with one another in some kind of way. Touching: hand holding, kissing, cuddling, having sex, tickling one another … you’ll be surprised what feelings about your partner will come up from a little bit of physical connection, so give your relationship just a touch of physical touch [wink].
Check-In …
Asking your partner “how are you feeling/doing overall?” goes a long way. Sometimes your partner doesn’t always have the language or even the opening to talk about what’s going on with them or how they feel. You’d be surprised at how much you can learn by giving them an invitation to do so. Just listen and ask how you can help them with any negative or bad feelings - you’ll be glad you did.
Actually surprise one another …
A bouquet of flowers. A weekend getaway. Tickets to a Broadway show. A couples’ massage! Find ways to actually surprise one another. Don’t tell your partner where you’re going or what you’re doing (but if you’re like me, tell me what I need to wear and what time I need to be ready by) and surprise your partner with something they’ve talked about, wanted to see, or a way to help them relax. You’ll be surprised how thankful they’ll be knowing you listened to them or paid attention to their words.
Celebrate the small things
Life is hard - and it only gets harder as you get older. Sometimes, waking up and getting out of bed enough for a celebration. Help your partner celebrate the little things as it makes them feel seen and like they have a cheerleader in you. You’ll be surprised how confident or self-assured they’ll become when they know they’ve got someone that supports them.
Ask questions
Read articles, listen to podcasts, and watch the news to find out about things going on around you and ask your partner their thoughts on those topics. Get to know who they are and how their brain works. Some things may shock you - others may confirm your thoughts on them, but all answers are valid in understanding who your partner is. By asking a simple question, you’ll be surprised at what you’ll learn about the person you love.
Never take each other for granted
Time goes by so quickly and life doesn’t stop life-ing. You turn around and you’ve been together for over a decade and your routines are so ingrained in the relationship, you don’t even see one another anymore. But anything can happen and your comfort and relationship can vanish in the blink of an eye - so don’t take each other for granted. Learn to accept one another for who you are, love each other with every fiber of your being, and most importantly: surprise your routine with things you and your partner need to feel alive. But at the end of the day - never take your love for granted because even though the world needs more love, the one you do have with your partner is special and should be appreciated.
Flower & Gardener Sh!t
This week, we talked about the relationship concept where one person is the flower (is tended to) and one person is the gardener (does the tending). Marko and I both agreed that we often switch between these designations, each of us taking care of the other when needed. I personally love fulfilling both roles! I enjoy pampering and taking care of my partner: making sure they are comfortable, relaxed, and content. I also love being taken care of: bring me breakfast in bed and rub my shoulders any day!
This week, we talked about the relationship concept where one person is the flower (is tended to) and one person is the gardener (does the tending). Marko and I both agreed that we often switch between these designations, each of us taking care of the other when needed. I personally love fulfilling both roles! I enjoy pampering and taking care of my partner: making sure they are comfortable, relaxed, and content. I also love being taken care of: bring me breakfast in bed and rub my shoulders any day!
What do you think about this concept? Even if you aren’t in a relationship right now, when you are, are you more often the flower or the gardener? Do you find yourself vacillating between the two? Have you ever had a relationship end because one (or both) of you wasn’t completing your responsibilities in one of these positions? We’d love to hear from you!
Abbott Elementary S1E11 Recap
This week, we talked about a very special episode of Abbott Elementary. In this episode, we get to meet Jacob’s boyfriend. It is a truly special episode, showcasing a very non-traditional relationship. Both guys are huge nerds and are not what we are used to seeing when we review gay representation. We love these two and are so happy to have them in the mix!
This week, we talked about a very special episode of Abbott Elementary. In this episode, we get to meet Jacob’s boyfriend. It is a truly special episode, showcasing a very non-traditional relationship. Both guys are huge nerds and are not what we are used to seeing when we review gay representation. We love these two and are so happy to have them in the mix!
Are you a fan of the show? Did you watch the episode? If you did, what do you think? Marko and I love seeing a variety of queer people and were happy that this couple doesn’t look like any we’ve seen before. We would love to hear your thoughts!
DINK Sh!t
This week, we talked about having an income of two and whether that should support more than just two. As a Dual Income, No Kids household, Marko and I have a blessing’s worth of choices. Our cupboards are always stocked, we don’t have to cook if we don’t want to, we can go to the movies whenever we feel like it, and we don’t have to pay for little humans’ clothes if we don’t wanna!
This week, we talked about having an income of two and whether that should support more than just two. As a Dual Income, No Kids household, Marko and I have a blessing’s worth of choices. Our cupboards are always stocked, we don’t have to cook if we don’t want to, we can go to the movies whenever we feel like it, and we don’t have to pay for little humans’ clothes if we don’t wanna!
What do you think about a dual-income home? Should we be saving to buy a house? Should we instead see every Broadway play? Do we need a tax-shelter college fund for our theoretical children? Join us as we tackle the topic once more, with fresh eyes and a new perspective. Where do you reside: to kid or not to kid? Let us know!
Opinion Sh!t
This week, we talked about a few methods for approaching a difference in opinion in your relationship. To clarify, this episode was about having a different opinion on the little things, not something big like your value system. Marko read an article that outlined a few very concrete steps. As usual, I found a nugget or two in there and I’m hopeful that you will as well!
This week, we talked about a few methods for approaching a difference in opinion in your relationship. To clarify, this episode was about having a different opinion on the little things, not something big like your value system. Marko read an article that outlined a few very concrete steps. As usual, I found a nugget or two in there and I’m hopeful that you will as well!
Do you take the time to listen to your partner or are you just waiting for your turn to talk? So many of us are guilty of that…pretty sure I did it at least five times today! I think for me that’s the simplest of the suggestions but also the most challenging. I’m always so eager to make sure that my voice gets heard that I don’t stop to try and understand what Marko is saying. Things sure would be a lot easier if I didn’t do that. Here’s hoping I get better at during the break. See you in a couple of months!
Ogling Sh!t
This week, we talked about whether it is acceptable to look at other people that you may be attracted to when you are in a committed relationship. Spoiler alert: we think that it totally is! The surprise though: this is a new development for the Critellis. As you may have heard, I put all guys into two buckets: my husband and everybody else. As I also may have heard, I’m a little bit of the jealous type. Just a little, though ;)
This week, we talked about whether it is acceptable to look at other people that you may be attracted to when you are in a committed relationship. Spoiler alert: we think that it totally is! The surprise though: this is a new development for the Critellis. As you may have heard, I put all guys into two buckets: my husband and everybody else. As I also may have heard, I’m a little bit of the jealous type. Just a little, though ;)
I honestly can’t say why the winds have changed. But they absolutely have. While in Paris, Marko and I heard about a gay bar with a special feature—a man showering who would either be in underwear or nude. We both decided that it might be fun to go there. We didn’t end up visiting but it sparked a conversation. Have you ever had a similar conversation with someone you were dating? What did you decide? Have you ever changed your mind? We’d love to hear from you on this!
Feeling Sexy Sh!t
This week, we talked about the importance of continuing to feel sexy throughout a relationship. While we, admittedly, spent a bit too much time on our own issues (sorry about that!), the topic is still one of great importance. What do you need to feel sexy, not just at the beginning of a relationship when you are showcasing all your best moves, but as time progresses and the flame could dwindle?
This week, we talked about the importance of continuing to feel sexy throughout a relationship. While we, admittedly, spent a bit too much time on our own issues (sorry about that!), the topic is still one of great importance. What do you need to feel sexy, not just at the beginning of a relationship when you are showcasing all your best moves, but as time progresses and the flame could dwindle?
I could go on and on about how sexy my husband is. For me, the fires never burned out. Heck, they didn’t even lessen one bit. I find my husband to be incredibly hot and I could do him every day if he’d let me ;) I constantly am attracted to and sexually charged by Marko. There is literally nothing that he has to do to continue to be sexy in my eyes. Our ever-growing relationship fuels my attraction to him and even as we both age I do not feel any less desire for him. What about our listeners who have been in long-term relationships: do you have to work at the attraction or do the fires burn ceaselessly? We’d love to hear from you!
Schitt's Creek S5E11 Recap Sh!t
This week, we talked about relocating. Would you ever move for a significant other? Before you do, what do you think of the questions we posed? If you have moved for someone, how did that turn out? Did you decide to have one big conversation beforehand or was it a series of talks?
This week, we talked about a very special episode of Schitt’s Creek. The relationship of two queer characters, David and Patrick, is not only central to the story but a phenomenal talking point that is part of a larger discussion and important narrative going on right now. The telling of the story of these two is realistic, modern, and inspiring without being cliche.
Did you watch the episode? Are you a fan of the show? What do you think about the episode? Patrick coming out to his parents reminds us of a very important milestone that each of us remembers uniquely. Perhaps you never got to come out to yours. Maybe you chose not to do so. What is your story? We would love to hear from you.